I am one of those Mom’s who just doesn’t get it. I allowed my children to download the app. In fact it might surprise you to know that I downloaded it (it’s free) the first day it went live. See I am totally cool right?
My 6 year old has tried to explain it all to me but as soon as he starts ranting off names like Slowpoke and rata something my ears start ringing and my mind wonders off thinking about laundry, Karate lessons or what’s for dinner…. and then from the distance I hear MOM MOM are you even listening to me? To which I reply, of course my darling.
Here is what you need to know to fake it when talking to 6 year olds, or the cool guys at the office.
What is Pokemon? Pokémon, are Pocket Monsters, which you capture (on your phone) and collect, trade and battle.
The game was developed by Nintendo back in the ’90s. (This is why so many young, cool, and hip adults like it)
Pokemon Go is an augmented virtual reality game. It knows where you are like Google Maps. Yes, this app knows your child’s location.
Pokémon Go uses GPS (the big satellites in the sky) and camera on your phone or ipad to allow players to capture, battle and train their virtual fake monsters, who appear on the screen as if in the real world.
Here is one I captured early today. Obviously it is NOT really in my hand it’s a virtual reality technology thing.
The app is free. However there are in-game purchases so be sure to turn that off via the in-app purchases options on your phone.
Data Sucking – The app is not only a data sucking sloth it also drains your battery so be weary of that when giving it to the kids.
Walking – You need to walk the streets to collect the Pokemon and you need to walk to incubate an egg (A pokemon hatches). A great opportunity to get out and walk with a bunch of kids at a snail’s pace. So slow, that you won’t actually elevate your heart rate enough to call it “exercise” but will make you feel better about that glass of wine you’re going to have when you get back.
The screen – You can only see the Pokemon through your smart phone screen (because they are not real). So that means that your child is walking with their head down with tunnel vision. When walking with your child tie a rope to them to keep them safe. Okay not a rope, but I walk with my hand on his shoulder so I can direct him and keep him safe. There is no rule that stops a Pokemon from appearing in the middle of a road so a child could easily walk out.
If you are worried stay in a open area such as a park or the beach.
To catch Pokemon you throw Pokeballs like this 
at the Pokemon Characters. You collect Pokeballs by spinning the disks at Poke-Stops. Poke Stops are clearly marked on your virtual map. You just flick the screen.
Need more information? Check out this glossary or terminology.
Battle – At rival gyms, you can battle other teams’ Pokémon for a chance at claiming the Gym. Each rival Pokémon you defeat reduces the Gym’s Prestige and potentially lowers the Gym’s level. Reduce the Gym’s Prestige to zero to capture the Gym for your team.
Combat Power CP – A Pokémon’s attack strength is measured in units of Combat Power. A Pokémon’s CP determines how well it will perform in battle. This is how I now refer to my coffee – it’s my combat power.
Defender Bonus – You can receive a daily reward of Stardust and PokéCoins for defending a Gym. The Defender bonus can be claimed at the shop.
Pokemon Eggs – Pokémon Eggs are items that can be found at PokéStops. Once you place an Egg in an incubator and walk a specific distance, the Egg will hatch into a Pokémon. No this is not how babies are really made.
Evolution – Evolution is the process of using Candy to change a Pokémon into an individual of an evolved species of Pokémon. This is actually what happens to children when you give them REAL candy, they evolve in to monsters. I am starting to think this game was created by a Mom.
Candy – You acquire Candy by catching Pokémon, hatching Eggs, and transferring Pokémon to the Professor. Candy is used to evolve and strengthen Pokémon. Candy is also what I use to bribe my children to do their homework.
Experience Points XP – Your advancement is measured in Experience Points (XP). Increase your XP to advance to higher Trainer levels. I have two children so I must have an XP of 2 right?
Fainted Pokemon – A Pokémon faints when its HP is depleted to zero. Fainted Pokémon must be revived using the items Revive or Max Revive. You do not need to call animal welfare instead try some “potion” to bring it back to life.
Gyms – Gyms are locations where you can battle the Pokémon of rival teams, or train your Pokémon by battling against the Pokémon assigned there by other members of your team. Gyms belonging to your team are known as friendly Gyms, and Gyms that have been claimed by other teams are known as rival Gyms. Gyms that have not yet been claimed are known as open Gyms. Don’t worry there are no leotards at this gym and not a spin bike in sight.
Hit Points HP – A Pokémon’s health is measured in Hit Points (HP).A Pokémon with zero HP faints. Use a Revive or Max Revive item to revive fainted Pokémon.
Incense – Incense attracts wild Pokémon (and hippies) to your location with its aromatic scent.
Incubator – Placing an Egg into an incubator allows it to hatch into a Pokémon as you walk. (You need to walk 5-10k or run it in your car) No kids this is NOT how most babies are made.
Lure – You can attract wild Pokémon to a PokéStop for a limited time with a Lure Module. The issue with this is that is also attracts “other” people playing Pokemon. So an adult could place a lure in a park and wait like the pied piper for your child to come. My daughter thinks her teacher should put a lure in maths class to get the kids to go.
Lucky Egg – You can double the amount of XP you earn in a certain amount of time by using a Lucky Egg.
Medals – Medals are awarded to you for an array of gameplay achievements. All parents out walking with their kids should also be awarded these for tolerating such pandemonium.
– Poké Balls are items used to capture wild Pokémon. They can be found at PokéStops and purchased in the shop.
Great Balls, Ultra Balls, and Master Balls are high performance Poké Balls with a greater ability to catch wild Pokémon.
Poke-coins – PokéCoins are currency that Trainers can exchange for premium items in the shop. Users can also buy PokéCoins in the shop. Perfect for bribing the kids to do chores too.
Pokedex– Your Pokédex is where you’ll find info about all the Pokémon species you’ve caught or encountered. Kinda like your purse filled with VIP coffee cards.
Pokestops – PokéStops are locations where you can gather items such as Poké Balls, Potions, and Eggs. A PokéStop will change its shape when you walk close enough. Touch it to interact with it, and spin the Photo Disc to get items such as pokeballs and eggs.
Potions – There are various Potions you can use to heal Pokémon like a witchdoctor. These items restore their HP (Hit Points). It’s like the glass or red wine potion we mommies have at night to restore our HP too.
Power up – Using Stardust and Candy, Trainers can power up their Pokémon to increase their CP and HP. Chocolate also is a perfect Power up for parents.
Prestige – Prestige is how a Gym’s progress is measured. Prestige is earned when Pokémon train at the Gym. Increase a Gym’s Prestige to advance the Gym to higher levels. It’s only for the cool gym people!
Razz berry -During an encounter, you can feed this item to a wild Pokémon to make it easier to catch. Drugging our Pokemon so we can catch them?
Stardust – Stardust is acquired by catching Pokémon, hatching Eggs, and earning the Defender bonus. It is used to Power Up Pokémon.
Training -At friendly Gyms, Trainers can battle Pokémon assigned there by other members of their team to increase their XP and the Prestige of the Gym.
Trainer – Trainers are people who play Pokémon GO. yelp that’s you and your kids.
Wild Pokemon – Pokémon that have not been caught are known as wild Pokémon. This is also how I refer to my children at around 6pm.
All done. Want to add something? Leave a comment!